the new term for farting is butt boxing.
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
Randomize
