forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
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