that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
Can I color on your dick again?
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
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