You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
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