Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
Randomize
