think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
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