What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
my god I love twenty year old dicks
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
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