$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
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