RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
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