Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Randomize
