Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
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