Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
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