I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Randomize
