I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
