chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
Randomize
