There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
Randomize
