is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
Randomize