I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
Those nachos came to me in a dream
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
Randomize
