Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Randomize
