Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
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