i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
Basic items
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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