just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
Randomize
