so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
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