he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
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