ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize
