i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
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