We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Randomize
