she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
how do flat chested girls get laid?
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
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