we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
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