We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
Randomize