i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
my mom just threw water on me to get me awake and is screaming "where is my fucking car?!"
you gave me a ride last nite what the hell did you do with it after you left me?
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
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