epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Randomize
