mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
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