there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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