I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
someone owes me an orgasm
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
Randomize
