Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
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