i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
Randomize
