Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Randomize
