Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Randomize
