babies were throwing up all over the place
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
Randomize
