mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
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