just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
Im part way to drunk.
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
Randomize
