I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
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