So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
Define "chronic" masturbator.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Randomize
