i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
