Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
