he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
Found your dick twin last night
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
Randomize
