yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
