Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
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