ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize
