she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
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