how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
Randomize
