how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
Sober January is a disaster.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
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