After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
Fav 3 1048 608 share tweet
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
Randomize
