yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
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