So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
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