I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
the new term for farting is butt boxing.
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
I wish they made helmets for livers.
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
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