You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
Do vagina's smell?
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
Randomize
